Can we all agree that we shouldn’t be listening to Jamie Dimon? He isn’t looking out for your best interest, he isn’t adding value to your life and trust me, the advice he gives isn’t meant to help you.

Jamie Dimon became CEO of J.P. Morgan Chase on December 31, 2005 and a year later was named chairman and president. Since then, here’s what J.P. Morgan Chase has been up to:

WorldCom | March 2005 – Settlement: $2B

JPMorgan Chase, which helped underwrite $15.4 billion of WorldCom’s bonds, agreed in March 2005 to pay $2 billion. If you don’t know about WorldCom, google it.

Jefferson County, Alabama | November 2009 – Settlement: $722M

JPMorgan Chase & Co. agreed to a $722 million settlement with the SEC to end a probe into sales of derivatives that helped push Alabama’s most populous county to the brink of bankruptcy.

Failure to comply with client money rules in the UK | June 2010 – Fine: £33.32M ($49.12M)

The UK Financial Services Authority (FSA) fined J.P. Morgan Securities for failing to protect an average of £5.5B ($6.066B) of clients’ money from 2002 to 2009.

Mortgage overcharge of active military personnel | January 2011 – Settlement: $27M

JPMorgan Chase admitted that it wrongly overcharged several thousand military families for their mortgages, including active duty personnel in Afghanistan. The bank also admitted it improperly foreclosed on more than a dozen military families.

Truth in Lending Act litigation | July 23, 2012 – Settlement: $100M

14 lawsuits were filed against JPMorgan Chase in various district courts on behalf of Chase credit card holders claiming the bank violated the Truth in Lending. The consumers contended that Chase, with little or no notice, increased minimum monthly payments from 2% to 5% on loan balances that were transferred to consumers’ credit cards based on the promise of a fixed interest rate.

Manipulation of energy market | July 2013 – Fine: $410M

The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) approved a stipulation and consent agreement under which JPMorgan Ventures Energy Corporation (JPMVEC) agreed to pay $410 million in penalties and disgorgement to ratepayers for allegations of market manipulationstemming from the company’s bidding activities in electricity markets in California and the Midwest from September 2010 through November 2012.

Criminal investigation into obstruction of justice | July 2013

FERC’s investigation of energy market manipulations led to a subsequent investigation into possible obstruction of justice by employees of JPMorgan Chase.

Sanctions violations | August 25, 2011 – Settlement: $88.3M

On August 25, 2011, JPMorgan Chase agreed to settle fines with regard to violations of the sanctions under the Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) regime.

National Mortgage Settlement (Ally/GMAC, Bank of America, Citi, JPMorgan Chase, and Wells Fargo) | On February 9, 2012 – Settlement: $26B

Five largest mortgage servicers  agreed to a historic settlement with the federal government and 49 states. The settlement, known as the National Mortgage Settlement (NMS), required the servicers to provide about $26 billion in relief to distressed homeowners and in direct payments to the states and federal government.

Speculative trading | 2012

JPMorgan Chase & Co was charged for misrepresenting and failing to disclose that the CIO had engaged in extremely risky and speculative trades that exposed JPMorgan to significant losses.

Mortgage-backed securities sales | August 2013

JPMorgan Chase announced that it is being investigated by the United States Department of Justice over its offerings of mortgage-backed securitiesleading up to the financial crisis of 2007–08. The company said that the Department of Justice had preliminarily concluded that the firm violated federal securities laws in offerings of subprime and Alt-A residential mortgage securities during the period 2005 to 2007.

“Sons and Daughters” hiring program | November 2016 – Fine: $264M
JPMorgan Chase agreed to pay fines to settle civil and criminal charges involving a systematic bribery scheme spanning 2006 to 2013 in which the bank secured business deals in Hong Kong by agreeing to hire hundreds of friends and relatives of Chinese government officials, resulting in more than $100 million in revenue for the bank.

Madoff fraud |  January 7, 2014 – Fine: $2.05B Settlement: $893M

JPMorgan agreed to pay fines and penalties to settle civil and criminal charges related to its role in the Madoff scandal. The lawsuit, which was filed on behalf of shareholders against Chief Executive Jamie Dimon and other high-ranking JPMorgan employees, used statements made by Bernie Madoff during interviews conducted while in prison in Butner, North Carolina claiming that JPMorgan officials knew of the fraud.

Corruption investigation in Asia | March 26, 2014
The Hong Kong Independent Commission Against Corruption seized computer records and documents after searching the office of Fang, the company’s outgoing chief executive officer for China investment banking.

Cyber-attack | September 2014
A cyber-attack, disclosed in September 2014, compromised the JPMorgan Chase accounts of over 83 million customers. The attack was discovered by the bank’s security team in late July 2014, but not completely halted until the middle of August.

Alleged discrimination lawsuit | January 2017
The United States sued the company, accusing it of discriminating against “thousands” of black and Hispanic mortgage borrowers between 2006 and at least 2009.


Come on. We’re smarter than this.